Army memoirs: Attitude
I was in Boston with my friend Yewsong. I wrote about this treasured friendship once and he told me he almost teared when reading it. For Christmas 2003, i spent it with my brother and his room-mate Tony. A white Christmas for the first time in my life. Ahh…
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I had just completed my GCE A-levels, or pre-university, or what the West call high school. While most of Down Under will chill out for a month or so before matriculating into University in Feb, and most of UK and USA take up jobs or a gap half-year before Sept/Oct, we Singaporean males have a certain 2-yr-long National Service to look forward to.
Look forward to? Who would like to give 24 good months of their prime youth to the Nation voluntarily? Which right-minded high-achieving high-school student would like to break the momentum of his academic prowess, and “degrade” to lessons about Military Security, Field Discipline, M-16 Technical Handling, etc etc? Which out-of-school youth would like to forgo job opportunities in the workforce to earn a meager allowance of SGD 300 or so per month, doing things totally unrelated to his future work life, and sometimes having to forgo weekends, to stay in camp, guarding it, or out in the field in some exercise? Who?
No, not one.
I tell you this, as a supposed highly motivated cadet once. I tell you this, as an officer of the Singapore Armed Forces. It does not take a major or colonel to write a 5000-word thesis on “motivation of conscripts” or something like that. It does not take the reading of “Citizen Soldiers” by Stephen Ambrose to understand. The truth is out there, and all Singaporeans know it, if they bother to think and care about it.
My sergeants and friends who went to the School of Infantry Specialists (SISPEC) tell me, “Sir/Jeff… the first day i went to SISPEC was the gloomiest day of my life. There i was, in Basic Military Training (BMT) Days, giving my best, showing the best attitude i could, but i still got tufted to SISPEC, while you went to OCS and get all the glory and honour that comes along with it…”
Then i often hear the quote that so famously comforts them, something that goes like,
“It’s not about the rank, it’s about the respect you earn.”
Most of the time, the SISPEC trainees make it through their sergeant training course. They emerge stronger and fervent, having a baseline level of pride and commitment in the things that they do. They have been trained to a high level of discipline, just like the cadets have as well. They are to be commanders in the Armed Forces, and taking command is no easy feat, albeit amidst peacetime conditions.
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There i was, with Yewsong, having our Christmas home-cooked dinner with an infantry and armour officer. We chatted and they got us interested about Army. Join the Special Ops, my bro said. They go around storming and shooting and abseil down buildings, throwing flash bangs, just like in Raven Shield: Rainbow Six. I eventually flirted with the idea for real, but that’s another post. Then, they delivered the take-home statement, “It’s all about the attitude. Just be positive and do your best, since you have to do it anyway.”
Take it on. Bravely. Fiercely. Enjoy. And so we did.
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Now, a certain comment has lead me to deliberate further. An analogy of a distaste for food was provided. It isn’t an entirely fool-proof analogy because there is intrinsic taste and then there is acquired taste. However, i do get the reader’s point of view, and to each his own. I guess NS is one of those things that either you love it or you loathe it. But my initial point of view and advice for pre-enlistees out there, the attitude makes all, yes, all the difference.
Everyone is in the same predicament. At this point, one can ask oneself, do you CHOOSE to (a) live your life to the max, or (b) live it grudgingly and whine all the time? As a medical student well versed (thanks to Dr. Craig Hassed at Monash University) with Health Enhancement, Psychoneuroimmunology and all that, i can say with confidence the former will do you well for your general health at large. I could probably find some studies relating positive attitudes to better moods over periods of time, correlated to improved health outcomes, or something. but you do the math, and you know what is best.
Well, let me further illustrate.
Imagine i had gone into BMT with a distasteful attitude. I can’t enjoy 7 uninterrupted months with my better half as we wait for University to begin. I can’t graduate two years earlier because of NS. As i think more about it, i’m really losing out. Here i am gaining useless knowledge about military technicalities and having an “experience” no one else can get, while the females of our age are in the Universities, learning real stuff. Stuff that matters. Stuff that can get them employed in the future. Stuff that help them earn money in the future. Stuff that can help them contribute to the economy. And what about us?? Wearing tight uniforms, marching around, singing stupid songs that are composed to brain-wash us recruits, and getting punished for minutiae about our uniforms and what-not. Oh, i forgot, I don’t think i like grass.. I hate sharing a common shower room with ten other guys. I dislike male camaraderie; i’d rather stick to my girlfriend and go shopping in the malls, go catch a movie or something. Besides, i agree with the edited ads.
With this attitude, i enter BMT. With my tainted glasses, i view everything and everyone in the military as i think they are. NS is a waste of time. These commanders are fierce and have no life. Pleaseeee.. I am smarter than you are, i boast of perfect scores at my A-levels. You are a platoon sergeant who is just over me in rank but in the society, outside these fences, you are nothing compared to me, a potential high-achiever. I am biased. I admit it. I like my tainted glasses. They help me see clearer.
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Then consider the real me. I enter BMT with a positive attitude. Never mind i am going to delay entering University for another 2 years. Every male in Singapore has done it before, why not me? Perhaps i am just doing my part for the Nation. Besides, i got to do this anyway, why not do it to the best of my ability, as i always have in my studies and co-curricular activities? Also, these 2 years will be a good litmus test to see if i can really last a relationship with my better half. If she can take my absence during this time, then she probably can when i work overtime in the hospitals (i decided early on about medicine). That’s right. Let’s see how it goes. I get my own allowance too! SGD300!! Woah. My own cash. No longer need my parents to give me allowance… I can spend it however i like. Cool! I get to fire a rifle, throw a live grenade. How many males IN THE WORLD can say they have done that at 18? I think i’m enjoying my BMT life, true there are tough times, i get punished for things i don’t think i deserve for, but i think the commanders have a reason for doing so. Let’s suck it up and just get through it, as one. Esprit de Corps is strong and felt by all. I like it. I am biased too. And i admit it. But i CHOSE to be. Because, i know, i will have and want to have a more enjoyable experience.
And that’s what i got.
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Let the people who have not done NS be the judge. Which is the attitude you would favour? Remember, attitude is a decision.
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Post-script: [10 august 2009]
Thanks to those who have linked on from Tomorrow.Sg. It was posted on 9 Aug 2009, our Nation’s 44th National Day. very cool. it has been more than a year since i wrote the above post, and reading back, i do admit i was idealistic at some points, oversimpliyfing things. but given the choice, hey, i am going to offer the same advise to any pre-enlistee. i am going to tell him that attitude matters. i am going to tell him that it is attitude, not aptitude, that really determines your altitude in life.
yes, life in NS sucks at times. doing guard duty on weekends, staying in camp, eating camp food, conscription in general, marching, etc. come on, i know, i was charged formally, and i was denied a promotion when every other peer of mine got it. i was denied $500 of my pay for a month (fined) for a seemingly small thing i did.
but hey, lets not forget the intangibles. the friendships forged. the experiences gained. the memories etched. because all those are invaluable and are not things money can buy. so lets look beyond that. boys entering army come out as men, more responsible, more ready to take on life. so suck it up, and go along the flow. be a man.
[to read more about my NS experiences, and my insight as a medical student, please click here]
Haha.
“Let’s see how it goes. I get my own allowance too! SGD300!! Woah. My own cash. No longer need my parents to give me allowance… I can spend it however i like. Cool!”
Cant help but feel that you are the archetypal pollyanna. You really romanticized the whole process jeff.
Think about the opportunity cost, the real amount you would have received (working in an external job) had you not served NS. 300, not matter how impressive you make it out to be, is still a pathetically meagre sum.
Nvm though. Well written, and thanks for sharing Jeff. Each and everyone of us are different, that’s all. Im glad you enjoyed NS honestly, and Im happy for you. However, some people might find the idea of bearing arms and grenades exciting and thrilling, yet there are people too who would gladly stay away from these at the earliest possible notice. Of course, NS apologists sometimes question my “patriotism”, and ask whether I would ultimately resort to sticks and canes to defend Singapore, which I think is both immature and totally irrelevant. How can one ever equate the level of patriotism with the desire to bear arms?
Anyway, once again, kudos to you for sharing. Cheers
Oh yes jeff, just a minor clarification.
“and most of UK and USA take up jobs or a gap half-year before Sept/Oct”
In uk, they do their A levels in june and receive their results somewhere in mid august. they have less than 6 months (about 3 months in fact) after their A levels before they enter university in Sep. yep so its not really half a year actually.
exactly. becos i think its a matter of focus. u get 300 sgd. like it or not. then u choose. (1) be content with it or (2) be discontented about this small sum of money all your life.
on that note, i think its more now. and as compared to older times, a greater improvement. i’ll blog more on people who actually like to stay in camp.
“How can one ever equate the level of patriotism with the desire to bear arms?”
excellent point made there. i certainly believe that is true. but i don’t think anyone has made such a claim that people who don’t bear arms are not patriotic.
even the JWs who do not wish to bear arms serve their time in DB where they do something – can someone enlighten us on that.
I can be contented with it. But it is still a meagre sum, nothing can change an immutable fact. Not matter how much we marinate, dress up, colour,label, see from different “perspectives”, approach with a different “attitude”, it is still meagre.
something that is mandatory does not mean we should consign ourselves to inevitability. but don get me wrong. I don’t mean to say you are wrong. No one here is right or wrong. Its just that most of the time, in discussion forums, apologist always resort to the same old banality, that NS is compulsory. Here you have it shoved up your ass, so like it or not, too bad you still have to bite the bullet and serve it. So its up to you to “shift” your mentality, to change your attitude.
I recognise the mandatory nature of Ns, and I go through Ns just about the same as any other eligible male citizens/pr in SG, and I of course frequently resort to self consolation and collective commiseration with my peers. “aiya ns so shit, but no choice.” “Sian, nvm lar ..people before us have done it already, its up to us.” ” bo pian lar.. die die also must serve.”… but despite so, NS is still pretty much rubbish to me.
actually, rather wierdly, I think both of us are focusing on the wrong subject. you tend to be describing how to make the best out of sth that sucks, while i am actually saying that it sucks, basically.Arguably, we are actually standing on the same side of the fence after all.
UNLESS, you believe that NS is inherently superb. Then its fine actually. You have the right to feel that way, no problems with that.
“i don’t think anyone has made such a claim that people who don’t bear arms are not patriotic.”
Actually, it so happens that you havent met one. I have met plenty. Other than questioning my “loyalty” and asking to to use “sticks and canes instead,”, some also label me as “sissy”, “cao ah qua” or “rifle so fun. why u dont like, sia”. but its ok. I dont think this is of interest to anyone heh, including you jeff.
“even the JWs who do not wish to bear arms serve their time in DB where they do something – can someone enlighten us on that.”
this is sth pretty interesting. I got a friend who was locked away in DB for – hold your breaths dudes- 3 freaking years. I mean. Whatever perspective, attitude, approach, focus you use, I believe nothing can stand up to the ludicrousness and bizarreness of it all.
In conclusion, I agree that in inevitable times of hardship, it is far better to channel your antipathies into something more productive instead of wallowing in melodrama and snievelling in self pity. And I believe based on this alone, our views converge.
Yet I feel that despite the external labels and attitudes we apply to our experience, the whole Ns thing is ultimately, and inherently, a tragi-farce, a spectacular mix of failure and desolation. I believe that the human will, the right to decide, should never be confiscated in the form of coercion. And I believe that NS is a form of coercion, forcing us involuntarily into doing something against our wishes. Indeed,if I were given a choice in the very first place, I would definitely skip this path. Who would’t? Maybe there would be some who would do it -for the want of adventure, fun, or income – but I would prefer to give it a miss.
So however I view it, NS when stripped bare to its most fundamental essence, is terrible beyond reason. It is intrinsically so, and the best litmus test I reckon would be to ask our selves this question. ” Will we do it if given a choice?” this question will reveal your fundamental judgement of NS. How we view it and how we make good of it does not make it any better. Indeed, I would say that because NS is so terrible, it compels us to “make the best” out of something that is hopelessly messed up.
But then again, I recognise that NS and the various other elements such as “attitudes” and “approaches” and “perspectives” cannot be divorced from each other. Everything culminates in what we call “experience” or “process”. I hate NS, but I value the friends who had made it slightly less unpalatable. But still this doesnt change the fact that NS is rubbish and indeed, because we are in such a terrible circumstance, the friends would seem like godsent and particularly valuable. I find it hard to articulate this point, I believe the horrible conditions of NS has heightened our senses, lowered our expectations and made us more receptive to anything good, even marginally, that comes along. If i had met my friends in a different circumstance, etc in school or at work, it would have turned out much differently. But I digress.
Argh, Im getting long-winded. Thats all, my 2 pennies’ worth.
Oh ya..just to clarify. My friend – the one who was locked away for 3 years – he is a jehovah witness. The last time I heard, he is leading a highly regimental life in DB, carrying sandbags, only allowed to watch cartoons and only during specific times of the day etc etc But these are just what I have “heard”. Take it with a pinch of salt.
Hey, that picture looks like Joe Paterno. Seen his statue on my visits to PSU, but don’t otherwise care, since I went o a Division III school. Anyway, I was in OCS for 3/85 IOCC, before it went all combined arms, so I was looking for Singapore military blogs.
Hey rudy. thanks for dropping by. be sure to read the entire military posts series i have. there are three i believe.
http://jeffreyleow.wordpress.com/category/military/
Cool beans. I found links on one of the blogs that you mentioned that led to your other postings about your outfield, and conducting Advanced Trainfire (CTSS in my time.)
Yea it was fun. Thankfully i had a great detailing specialist who settled e majority of stuff for me.
NS sucks. Period.
NS may suck. Many things in life do – jobs, bosses, government. We can argue to death about what’s rubbish, what needs to be changed, what’s unfair. But before the world becomes perfect, there are always things we have to accept, regardless.
Jeff, I like your attitude.
yes thank you kate. i think lots of people do not get it that, despite NS being discussed as a discrete phase one has to go through, the bigger message behind is the attitude one carries when approaching life.
Hmmm …
1. Got a friend who has a known hairline fracture at his ankle. After NS: Limping all the way.
2. Read that a recruit dies running 2.4km. Would he have lived a ripe, old, meaningful life that contributes to the world if he has not gone through NS?
3. Know of a working personnel with psychotic behaviours … resulted from 2 years of being tekaned in NS. Would he have been a sane person if he has not been in NS?
4. Know of a soldier, lost his finger in NS. Now cannot hold pen properly. Thanks to NS?
“NS may suck. Many things in life do – jobs, bosses, government.” Job not happy, change. Boss not happy, resign. Government don’t like, immigrate. NS don’t like, can just go like that?
Those who like it, thank whoever that nothing serious happened to you. To those who suffers damage physically or mentally, go tell them that NS is great for them.
If anything, my 2.5 years spent in NS served to open my eyes to several harsh truths in life:
1. Life isn’t fair. Deal with it
2. Your immediate superiors may be clueless jackasses, but they are still your superiors.
3. Punctuality is a virtue.
4. Learning to follow orders because you HAVE to, not because you WANT to.
For all that crap I had to put up with, I came away a strong person mentally. Why run from a shitty boss or colleagues? I’ve put up with far worse in NS, wasting my 2.5 years that I could have put to far better use academically and professionally in a university and getting into the job market sooner. Nothing I could do about that, so it’s taught me to be tolerant, to be patient, bide my time, and even to watch as PITA officers and enlisted men came and went, waiting for the day I would EARN my pink IC back.
More importantly, it taught me to survive in the shitty corporate world around us today.
i’m sorry but thats the exact attitude that i find so palpable in singaporean males. that is, to suck it up. or rather suck thumb. If that’s the attitude and ideology that NS serves to nuture, then i think we have a huge problem. If we are taught to remain docile and dormant when posed with circumstances that we are unhappy with, then we allow for injustices and faults in the system to persist and permeate.
i think the appropriate attitude that should be adopted, is to question and challenge nonsensical orders and S.O.P.s.
i feel exasperated when 100 university bound A level graduates keep their their heads down when subjected to unreasonable “tekan” by a single superior who defies every leadership model, and who has the power to do so only because of the time he has spent in the army(promotion is time based, not merit based). And as we all know, the army is an exceedingly attraction career route for the minimally educated.
I am, of course, referring to specialists and warrant officers. My time with officers has been little because of my sispec route.
And so, i think NS has changed you. in a bad way. tolerance is only acceptable when justified. Conformity is just bad.
george, thanks for your comment.
i find that unreasonable punishment nowadays has been kept to a minimum exactly because of all these supposed “highly-educated” university-bound A leevl graduates. most specialists (warrant officers included) are fearful of putting A level recruits through what they themselves go through, partly because they perhaps could not see the reasons anymore, and partly because someone in there might complain to someone out there.
conformity is necessary when you first join any organisation, especially in one that requires regimentation as a means of functioning. SAF is not like a corporate organisation where people can speak up and voice their opinion, make suggestions and change things. It is based on rank and appointments and that is the best way an armed force can operate, especially in times of war.
from what you wrote, it seems like you have had a rather negative experience in SISPEC being unjustly punished for various things. i feel sorry for you. nothing can change that now, so i hope you come to peace with that. on the flip-side, when i get together with coursemates, we reminisced about thsoe days we were tekan-ed, the funny times, why we were tekan in the first place.. etc. we realise we bonded much better through hardship than anything else. that’s my take of it, at least.
ghoonk, thank you for your comment. i think its great that you have understood something common in all armed forces – regimentation. you hace described it well but to sum it up, its regimentation and that is the nature of any credible armed forces, without which there will not be order and the force will not be effective.
i’m glad you chose to look at what you got out of your time in NS, rather than whine about how bad it has been. cheers! you’ll go far in life.
Attitude is not a decision, not for everyone. Not all of us can will ourselves into believing something we do not.
It’s true that you’ve no choice if you’re singaporean unless you want to run and seek asylum. It’s true that you can serve happy, or serve sad and it’s all about a paradigm shift. It’s true that such paradigm shifts would be essential throughout the rest of our lives should we want to be happy.
But there’s a big difference between being positive about something, and condoning the practice. I could choose, for example, to take the mindless routines, mindless SOPs, redundant rushing, idiotic superiors with a positive attitude; but the essential key is that I should not be positive about it because I’ve been brainwashed. Ultimately, such regimentation and stamping out of character contributes to a lack of individuality and like an above poster said, acceptance of fate and status-quo.